Hey there readers! I hope you’re all doing incredibly well.
So as I’m sure you’ve probably noticed from Twitter, Facebook and the general air of “Oh Shit!” that’s settled over the comedy community, Festival is just around the corner and I’m happy to announce that I’ll be doing another show about sport! So to get you in a sporty mood, I’ve decide to write a piece about the groundbreaking, style-making, Rabbit-celebrating joy that was Sex and The City.
*Cue sports-reportesque music, followed by pictures of athletes kicking things and jumping higher than us regular folk can jump*
To give you a bit of history, the first time I met Carrie and the gang was when I saw SATC2 at Knox Ozone in the outer suburbs of Melbourne. There, in my fanciest hoodie, I watched on in a state of utter confusion as 4 women (whom I’d be told I would love and admire) acted like racist, shallow and utterly unforgivable dipshits on screen.
Now since that terrifying evening, I’ve learnt that watching a SATC movie without seeing the series is like giving birth without having been shagged (YOU MISS ALL THE GOOD STUFF!). So fortunately I’ve made amends.
I could sit here all day discussing the best bits from the show (most of which involve the character Aiden and his gorgeous, gorgeous face) but instead I’m going to focus on one of my favorite episodes, “The Real Me”. You all remember it? Carrie is asked by mouthy producer Lynn Cameron to take part in a New York fashion show featuring real models. Carrie is nervous, then realizes she spends most of her time strutting around New York anyway, so why not strut on a catwalk?
I love the episode! Not only because Kim Cattrall gets most of her kit off and I think she’s banging, but also because I’m fascinated by the idea of fashion shows. From the runways of Paris to Mugatu’s Derelique, the idea of a room full of “it” people coming together to look at what they’re going to be wearing over the next season is intriguing. It’s the height of dizzying decadence and I fucking love it.
But in the past few years, maybe even less, the tide has shifted and the cool kids are all scrambling to get seats of a different kind. Courtside, ringside or trackside; Sports is the new place to be seen.
I’m sure you’ve all noticed the trend. It started with the genuine die-hards Jack Nicholson and Spike Lee supporting The Lakers and The New York Knicks respectively. Game in game out, these aging and borderline crazy old men can be seen yelling, stomping and generally adoring every bit of the game. On their part, the very public displays of affection they dedicate towards the NBA are in no way enacted to raise profile or nab the attention of the media. I can safely say this because 1) No one trying to get publicity wears green socks and 2) Licking a sledgehammer is much quicker.
But where Jack and Spike’s team spirit is true, there’s a new influx of hot young things who seem to use sport as little more than an opportunity to show the world how cool their friends are and how hot they look dressed casually in Burberry. There was Rhinnah and Chris brown, back in the days when she could sit next to him without flinching. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, back in the days when Selena could sit next to Justin without vomiting. And of course, Lindsay Lohan, sitting next to whomever she could find.
Quite recently, TMZ reported that Michelle Rodriguez “upstaged the NY Knicks” when she was spotted pashing on with Victoria Secret Model, Cara Delevigne. Now whether this kiss indicated the two are now dating, or if it was a case of Rodriguez trying to suck the 21-year-old Cara’s life force out Dementor style is yet to be confirmed. But all I do know is the both looked smashing and frankly this just won’t do!
Sport is one of the very few bastions of safety where you can wear oversized jumpers in clashing colours, eat food containing unidentifiable meat products, and yell heinously at some 19 year old to “Eat shit and die” when they score well for the other team without fear of judgment. Aside from Fashions on the Field at The Melbourne Cup, which I would be more than happy to see overtake the sport itself as the dressing up doesn’t involves any HORSES DYING OR GETTING BEATEN WITH STICKS, sport should never be about looking pretty.
So dearest celebrities, please go on taking selfies and hanging out with important figures of society such as Willow Smith and Adam Sandler in public where we can all see. I honestly don’t know where mankind would be without it. But if you are going to do so whilst dressed like a God, then leave it for the runway. Sport has a uniform…and it’s all Green socks.
For more information about Tegan Higginbotham in Game Changer, visit http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2014/season/shows/game-changer-tegan-higginbotham-in